Thunk

IN THE BEGINNING (MARCH 19th)
You know, growing up is hard to do sometimes. On Sunday I decided to try and break my leg. Using my crib as a weapon. Good times.
So, Mom and Dad, to my great delight, decided to go ahead and take off one side. So fun -- I have free access to my crib buddies and can practice laying down. Nap time went great. My first night went great, and I even slept in.
Or so Mom and Dad thought.
...
Dad went to check on me around 6 Monday morning. But he couldn't find me. He looked and looked. He turned the lights on (HOT TIP: put your glasses on first) and realized that my little legs were sticking out from underneath my crib. I was hibernating (until 6:45, which is late for me) in my little cave. I made nary a peep all night.
After establishing that perhaps I should stay in the bed next time, we went along with our day. Fast forward to another nap time. I reminded Mom, "No go under." And she suggested that staying in the crib was probably a good idea, but that whatever worked for me was fine. After 2 hours I interrupted Mom's painting with a very loud THUNK. Otherwise known as me rolling out of bed. Oops. No boo-boos, and I was surprisingly happy after a little snuggle.
Fast forward again to bed time. Things go really smoothly until about 1.10. Mom checked on me and tucked me back into bed. 3 and 5 did not go as smoothly. Neither did a large portion of time between those times. We're all a little tired today.
You might get the idea. I may have fallen out. I may have been worried about falling out. I'll never tell.
But Mom and Dad have moved my mattress onto the floor and ordered a bed rail.

So passed out Mom couldn't wake me up.

For the appointment she scheduled 3.5 hours after nap time started...

FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS
After spending quality time with my mattress on the floor (about a week), I got the hang of this whole bed thing. I like it. A lot. I like it so much that I'm sleeping better than ever. (Mom is knocking on wood. Or anything resembling wood. Paper, whatever.)
We put the mattress back on the bed. It's going ok, but I like Mom to lay down with me, and we don't both fit in the crib very well. Mom and Dad apparently ordered a big mattress for me, and that's going to live on the floor (since I don't have a bigger bed). I am very excited!

AND ANOTHER WEEK
No more crib. That bad boy is all gone. Adios. It was supposed to be a smooth transition to my big boy mattress, but I decided to speed things along. By destroying my room during "nap time". Yeah, yeah, it might have been because of the raging infection from that nasty bug bite*. Or it might have been me in full on tiny tyrant mode. I'll never tell.
Regardless, I'm happy, Mom's happy, my leg is almost all better, and, knock on wood, the clindamycin isn't even causing GI upset. And even better, there are linens in my future. I really like bed linens.
Seriously, Mom thought she must have inadvertently opened a box of gold cars when my big-boy bedding arrived. I would have happily toted that set around until it fell apart. Thankfully, Mom intervened and set it aside for the future. Which is almost now! Hooray!

* Here's the Cliff's Notes:
SATURDAY
5 PM:  Mom sees that hungry skeeters have struck again, and I have 3 new bites
SUNDAY
6.30 AM: Mom notices one bite is oozy and reminds me not to scratch. Puts neosporin and a bandage on my leg.
7.00 AM: I tell Mom, " Ankle hurts." She gives me kisses and carries me downstairs but is pretty sure I'm faking and just parroting things she likes to say after long runs.
8.30 AM: Mom tells Dad that my ankle is swollen, maybe sprained. Dad expresses remorse over hanging me upside down by my ankles. No, it wasn't torture. I like it. Ibuprofen was administered to keep the swelling down. Ankle monitoring and such begins.
10.00 AM: I run around the playground as usual, tricking Mom and Dad into thinking they made the right decision.
12.00 PM: Ice pack and lunch; ankle swelling is worse. Redness around insect bite is still present, maybe worse, but nothing serious looking.
1.00 PM: More ibuprofen and a nice nap
4.30 PM: Leg is very swollen up to knee. Poor piggies are attached to my ballooned foot.
8.00 PM: Leg is still very swollen to knee and is now red and hot to the touch, which Mom notices after bath time. Mom gets me to bed.
8.10 PM...: Mom and Dad freak out and don't sleep much. Mom figures I actually got bit by a spider and lets her imagination run wild. Dad actually comes to check that I'm still breathing -- a few times.
MONDAY
5.45 AM: The day from hell starts.
9.50 AM: Doctor is even surprised by my leg, but agrees with Mom about the problem being insect not a sprain. She is impressed that I'm in a reasonably good mood (HA HA. FOOLED HER -- I SAVED ALL MY CRAZIES FOR LATER). Prescribes Clindamycin and tells Mom that we won't make it 10 days. Because of the diarrhea. Also says that if I don't look better that day then I get to go for IV antibiotics.
Good times ensue.
PS. Happy Spring Break